( Credit : Koleksi Peribadi Jimmy Art )
These picture were snapped at the starting point of Kota Belud Trail…
( Credit : Refflisia Putih )
Now they are one of the reasons I did realized about the position of my Introverted Sensing ( Si ) even more. So in an emotionally shocking way.
Before seeing these pictures and other post-earthquake pictures of Panar Laban, the visual image of Panar Laban in my mind is always an ethereal beauty surrounded with clouds and mist. That image are stored in my internal memory storehouse since my first arrival there, something related to Si. Si is a data-storage device like cognitive function. The storage and organisations of all sights, smells, sounds and sensory informations from the past are Si’s job and business. When people talks about Panar Laban and somewhere around Gunting Lagadan Hut, that image will be replaying in my mind as a reaction to it. Just like the first moment I see it. And the image resurfaced again in the same fashion when something else triggered the memory.
And my reaction to it is also visceral.
That is how Si functions in the third preferred function alias the Eternal Child/Puella Aeterna archetype.
When I saw these pictures above, I can’t help from comparing it with the nostalgic images from my memory. The comparison between the current reality and memory from the past filled me with sadness and so a brutally strong reminder of the frailty and non-infallible nature of worldly life that made me feel freezing- everything but Allah Taala must come to an end someday.
Only people with INFP and INTP preferences are having Si in Eternal Child/Puella Aeterna position… So ?
Honestly, after using about a bottle of this lovely-scented potion for a month, my Puella Aeterna* secretly wishing that I met this potion when I was still in secondary school. So that I enjoy more peaceful schooltime and adolescent era. And I can avoid the huge blunder that leads me to a wrong way for 20 years.
Somehow we can’t change what had happened, and I am still grateful for having some chances to use Aura Pengasih to assist me in self re-development process.
Here are some other unexpected good things that are happening during and after a month of using it :
1. My impulsive shopping tendency decreased. I am only buying things that I am really need. That is mean I can save more money for something important in the future.
2. Bad days still came in occasionally and so bad feelings, but my reactions to it had changed. I am just owning those feelings instead of being them. There are a huge gap between myself and bad feelings. By having the gap between it, bad feelings are easier to manage even though they are still runs deep.
This is happened not only to me, but were also reported by several users. Some of them simply losing their short-fuse tendency and be able to control their anger/angst as they keep using the potion.
3. I am gradually becoming less active in social media, in comparison to a month before. Not because I turned into anti-social person, but the tendency of getting addicted were decreased as time goes by. Now, I am responding or initiating when I felt really moved to do so, and that just happened occasionally. It leads me to believe that Aura Pengasih potion is possibly useful in addictions management. And maybe that is means a good hope for parents with children who are helplessly get hooked to gadgets and video games.
4. My inner scanning functions- Introverted Feelings (Fi) and Extraverted Intuitions (Ne) getting more alert and sharper. For an example, I started to avoid sounds and musics that are not in harmony with my body vibes. My body keeps telling me that musics that are too loud and too upbeat are bad for my health and well-being. And I started to get more alert about toxic people/energy vampires !
5. Now, I am happily settle down into the place where I belongs to-Catalyst/Idealist temperament, as I more and more accepting of who I am. I started to see things from the past and present get connected and get clicked. A month before this, I was still confusing about the temperament of my core self.
Well, there are some other many good things happened too but I’d rather keep that private.
After about a bottle of Aura Pengasih potion, I can say that it is worth a try.
Glossary & Postscript :
*Puella Aeterna : http://typeindepth.com/terms-theory/#puer
Here are another post in Malay Language about my experience of using Aura Pengasih in the beginning of a month :
Nota : Ini merupakan blog post yang pertama setelah kembali semula ke OS Windows bermula 1 April yang lepas.
Some parts of Bowen Trail before Sabah Earthquake in 2015 : Named after the pioneering British geologist cum mountaineer who scaled both King George Peak and King Edward Peak in 1950s, this is one of the trails that opens up an adventureous journey to the eastern side of Mount Kinabalu. This trail, like the eastern plateau itself, is the trail less hiked by hikers in comparisons to the infamous Summit Trail. The fate of this trail still unknown after the earthquake happened in 2015.
I never been there, but I noticed some touching, symbolic meanings by just looking from the pictures of it. At the same time I feel a deep connection between this trail and the post that we all read now. Enjoy the reading !
( Credit : Ruhaizad Daud of Beautiful Mount Kinabalu )
A journey to find a genuine congruency between myself & one of the 4 Temperaments really started with an online quiz/test about 4 Temperaments based on the work by Dr. Linda Berens & Dr. Dario Nardi. Even though this quiz/test results is not something to be taken seriously, personally it was the surprisingly a relief moment when all the things that happened in my past got clicked.
I’m neither a Theorist nor an Improviser. And never ever a Stabiliser.
I have lived my life as both Theorist and Improviser wannabe in separate time phases, and honestly felt worthless and empty. In fact I am regretting about letting myself living that way. A Theorist feels that his or her life is worthy to live by gaining knowledge, and an Improviser got the same feeling by making impacts from doing an action. Why I can’t get life satisfaction by getting either two of it ?
Because I’m naturally searching for meanings in life experiences and hidden potentials in individual uniqueness- a sure sign of being a Catalyst.
The clues, so significant but appeared on rare occasions, are from the past; especially the time when I was still a student in SMK Kuhara. I can only share a few of it anyway :
( Credit : eTawau )
1. Emotionally gravitated to a chapter of Konsep Kendiri ( self-concept ) and all those similar things taught in KBSM Kemahiran Hidup Bersepadu Pilihan ERT. When I was studying the chapter firstly in Form One class, that was the very first time in my schooling life that I was exposed to something related to self-discovery and clarifications of deeper issues. So happy to learn something that made me understand how people around me and myself tick. I have noticed that I felt lively, and so in focus. And I was actively participting in class, in comparison to Improviser-related chapters or even any other subjects that had been taught at me during that time.
Looking back at it, I believe that this is a sure sign that I am actually a Catalyst who lost in a trail that obviously was not made for her.
2. I was never been happy to be in leading position. Honestly I have an inner desire to be a school prefect for several years, but never been fulfilled for some understandable good reasons. I got the answers that I need when I was in Form Four and was the class monitor on that time, but can’t articulate it in a fully acceptable way until learning about 8 Jungian Cognitive Functions and 4 Temperaments. Class monitor or school prefect type of positions are something that comes naturally to any Stabilisers, but honestly something that I have struggle with.
3. The voluntary involvement in PRS ( Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya alias Peer Friends’ Guides ). When SMK Kuhara started to build a first pioneering batch of PRS group in 1995 and searching for some potential students to fill in the vacancies, I was voluntarily applied the vacancy to Guidance & Counseling Unit. I felt having a strong inner call for it and also felt that my participation in the group will have some benefits at least for myself. Even though PRS rule in the school was not appear powerful nor glamourous like school prefects, class monitors or any powerful-popular positions that available, but I was really enjoying the activities inside the group. Age differences and seniority were not matters, since I felt like in home at every moment. I believe logically that a majority of PRS members in that first batch were Catalysts, because Catalysts are naturally drawn to something like this and I am feel comfortable to be with people from the same temperaments.
4. Love and enjoying to do a self-discovery fun quiz that been held by Madame Chiam ( my lovely English teacher during SPM level time ) in class. I even secretly copied all of the questions and answers into my journaling book, then made another photostated duplicate for future purpose. And I am still having that photostated duplicate right now after losing that journaling book during home-moving process.
5. I love to read the book by Dr. Laurie Nadel and other two co-authors about 6th Sense and developing intuitions that I borrowed from Tawau Public Library and even tried to do all exercises suggested in the book. It was happened in SPM exam season ! A teacher have told me that I should pay attentions more to Science subjects instead of keeping myself busy with outside junks, as a reaction of knowing what I did. Somehow, that was still the effective way for me to release the stress from painful efforts of absorbing and understanding something that I felt not like home. And somehow it was also a thing about me that people around me rarely known about at that time, so I’d rather simply kept myself quiet and smartly managing my time, rather than just thrashing my interest right away.
Credit : Amazon.com
Pure Science subjects honestly are the pain at the neck for non-Theorists and my reaction to it was some sort of ‘disassociation’. For example my personal experience of ‘disassociation’ of that time is reading literature books, writing short-stories/mini-novel or doing something that are not related to subjects I learned in schools.
If I am really a Theorist per se, why I kept rebelling, cheating and betraying that identity from time to time ?
Lets say Catalyst temperament is a hiking trail, I have found a trail to hike…
Now I’m realizing that the trail is actually and always there for me to hike it. Somehow I tend to ignore it, and choose to hike other trails even though it costs me my own detriment, because that trail was less hiked and being overshadowed by more popular trails. Anyway, it is still not too late to hike the easier but less hiked trail.
Credit : Ruhaizad Daud of Beautiful Mount Kinabalu
End Note : Disclosing about all these things is never easy. Somehow I felt moved to share it this time. Hopefully parents and teachers can have a huge benefit from this, so that their own kids and/or students will not going through what I have gone through before this.
Dr. Linda Berens has an interesting article about Temperaments and life stress in everyday life. Hopefully, by reading it side-by-side with this blog post, we can have a better understanding about this blog post.
Kredit : Yans Singgoi
Mengapa blog Suara JiwaHalus kini cenderung memaparkan tulisan-tulisan yang menjurus ke arah self-discovery ? Berkongsi pengalaman peribadi yang mempunyai sesuatu yang menjurus ke arah menggerakkan sesuatu untuk mencari sesuatu di dalam diri… Tentang pengalaman melalui proses self-discovery. Hatta tulisan-tulisan tentang Gunung Kinabalu pun terselit hal-hal sedemikian rupa.
Persoalan ini mungkin pernah terdetik di hati rakan kenalan dan para pelawat yang sudi mampir ke laman blog ini. Mungkin kerana itulah hati penulis berasa terpanggil untuk menulis. Mudah-mudahan tulisan kali ini memberikan jawapan kepada apa yang pernah terdetik di hati…
Sebelum meneruskan kata-kata, biarlah video ini berbicara…
Versi komik online boleh diperolehi di sini :
Sebelum ini, penulis tidak pernah membaca komik online ini mahupun menonton versi videonya. Baru kelmarin penulis menjumpainya.
Menonton video ini, teringat akan nasihat seseorang bahawa manusia tidak ada yang pandai atau bodoh. Cuma berbeza kepandaian, lambat atau cepat naik rezekinya. Setiap individu adalah unik, dan keunikan itu membolehkan kita menjalankan peranan sebagai khalifah Allah di atas muka bumi ini. Dan yang menyatukan identiti unik itu adalah hakikat bahawa kita semua adalah hamba Allah.
Dan nasihat itu menjadi sesuatu yang penulis pegang hingga ke hari ini.
Dalam masa yang sama, menonton video ini menghadirkan rasa sedih dan terkilan kerana teringatkan unsur-unsur inferiority complex yang terbenam jauh dalam memori silam. Dikotomi mental ‘pelajar pandai vs pelajar bodoh’, yang di balik tabirnya adalah mentaliti ‘hidup ini suatu persaingan dan perlumbaan’; masih menghantui kenangan yang dibina bersama dan dikenang-kenangkan kembali. Sejujurnya, penulis berasa sedih dan kurang selesa untuk dikenali dan diingati sebagai pelajar pandai di sekolah oleh mana-mana individu yang pernah bersama-sama penulis suatu ketika dahulu. Sedangkan diri yang dikenali dan diingati itu langsung tidak layak diperbandingkan dengan sesiapapun, kerana dia bukanlah diri sebenar penulis.
Dalam video yang sama, terdapat salah satu jawapan utama mengapa penulis sering tergerak untuk menulis sesuatu tentang self-discovery dan apa sahaja yang berkaitan dengannya. Sejujurnya berada dalam mentaliti perbandingan, permainan dan persaingan itu meletihkan bahkan merosakkan ikatan kemanusiaan.
Dan penulis terpanggil untuk menulis sesuatu tentang self-discovery sejak sekian lama, dalam bentuk perkongsian pengalaman peribadi kerana tidak mahu sesiapapun melalui pengalaman yang perit dan menguras tenaga hayat itu. Dan penulis ingin memberikan peluang kepada rakan-rakan dan kenalan bebas sepenuhnya dari mentaliti sedemikian rupa, menghargai keunikan peribadi yang menjadi anugerah Illahi. Seterusnya, melakukan proses reframing kepada semua kenangan yang dilalui bersama, sepertimana yang penulis berusaha lakukan…
Berdasarkan pengalaman peribadi penulis, keputusan peperiksaan cemerlang di sekolah atau di mana-manapun bukanlah segala-galanya. Kadangkala keputusan cemerlang dalam peperiksaan pun boleh jadikan seseorang tambah hilang arah dalam misi hidupnya hingga sukar untuk mencari jalan pulang bila sudah terlencong jauh dalam bidang yang jauh menyimpang dari bakat semulajadi yang dianugerahkan Allah Taala.
Hanya selepas terasa sentap berabis akibat peristiwa besar dalam hidup kita- diberhentikan kerja, matinya orang tersayang, jatuh muflis, sepuluh tahun berlalu tapi masih tidak punya kerja tetap dan macam-macam lagi takdir Allah Taala yang berlaku ke atas kita, barulah kita sedar yang kita sudah terlencong jauh.
Lantas diri kita pun digerakkan untuk mencari kembali diri yang hilang agar kita mampu kembali meneruskan hidup. Dan dalam proses pencarian itu kita akan bertemu dengan bakat semulajadi yang kita ada dengan Izin Allah.
Itulah yang berlaku kepada penulis setelah arwah ayah kembali ke Rahmatullah. Penulis banyak tertarik kepada perkara-perkara yang ke arah pencarian diri sendiri, baik yang dari Timur mahupun Barat. Untuk tulisan kali ini, penulis akan menggunakan istilah oleh Dr. David Keirsey dan anak muridnya, Dr. Linda Berens kerana itulah yang penulis alami serta fahami. Dan ia mudah pula difahami oleh mereka yang bergiat dalam bidang bimbingan dan kaunseling.
Dalam proses self-discovery yang turut melibatkan proses imbas-kembali, barulah penulis sedar penulis berada dalam kumpulan individu Catalyst/Idealist dan cenderung ke arah INFP. Sedangkan sistem pendidikan di sekolah dan institusi akademik lain begitu ketara membina pelajar untuk menjadi para Theorist/Rationalist atau para Stabiliser/Guardian. Pendidikan Vokasional pula untuk membina para Improviser/Artisan. Peranan Catalyst/Idealist menjadi begitu marginal kerana peluang kerja untuk mereka bekerja menggunakan bakat semulajadi dalam bidang industri sangat kecil. Malah dimomokkan dengan kata-kata, “ Seniman (majoritinya diisi Catalyst/Idealist) sering hidup melarat.” dan banyak macam lagi. Untuk teruskan hidup, individu Catalyst/Idealist seringkali cuba menjadi seseorang yang bukan dirinya sendiri. Melupakan diri yang sebenar dan membina persona atau diri yang palsu, agar dapat hidup dengan selesa (selesa yang sebenarnya tidak selesa), walaupun dalam keadaan tidak dapat memenangi perlumbaan/persaingan sekalipun. Maka penulis pun, memakai topeng Theorist/Rationalist semasa di sekolah dan institusi pengajian dan semasa di alam pekerjaan pula hidup memakai topeng Improviser/Artisan. Sedangkan ketika masih di sekolah lagi penulis mula tertarik kepada subjek atau topik yang memang menjadi makanan dan darah daging para Catalyst/Idealist.
Dan penulis belajar serta memahami bahawa menjadi orang lain itu membazir tenaga hayat, umur dan duit yang Allah pinjamkan. Bahkan membebankan kita dengan timbunan hutang yang tidak perlu.
Dalam proses yang sama juga, penulis belajar dan faham bahawa salah satu petanda kita berada dalam bidang yang menjadi lubuk rezeki dan memang bakat semulajadi kita adalah, kita sangat-sangat dipermudahkan untuk berada dalam bidang tersebut. Mudah, seperti ikan yang berenang dalam air kerana habitatnya di air. Atau burung yang terbang di udara kerana Allah jadikan ia untuk terbang. Tak payah pulun berhabis-habisan seolah-olah nyawa sudah tinggal separuh.
Dan salah satu petandanya lagi adalah hidup kita terasa lebih tenang dan tidak kosong kerana telah ada makna yang mengisinya.
Justeru, apabila kita melakukan pencarian diri kita sendiri dan menerima seadanya apa yang kita perolehi dari pencarian tersebut, kita akan hidup lebih tenang dan gembira kerana kita tidak lagi terbelit dalam kerangka mentaliti perbandingan dan persaingan/perlumbaan.
Dengan itu, mudah-mudahan perkongsian di laman blog Suara JiwaHalus ini dapat membantu sesama kita dalam mencari kembali haluan sebenar yang kesasar.
Nota : Untuk yang berminat untuk keluar dari perbandingan-persaingan dan mahu menghargai keunikan yang ada, terdapat dua buah ujian secara online yang boleh anda jawab dengan telus dan jujur. Sesuai untuk mereka yang mempunyai penguasaan Bahasa Inggeris yang baik. Ujian dibuat berdasarkan modul yang dibangunkan oleh Dr. Linda Berens dan Dr. Dario Nardi.
Pada yang mahu menjawab, Selamat Maju Jaya penulis ucapkan.
Penjelasan untuk setiap istilah yang penulis gunakan boleh diperolehi di sini :
Immediately recognized this as the wooden stairway from Laban Rata to Gunting Lagadan Hut. I was here in March 1998. It is easy to appreciate the physical beauty along this way, somehow something quickly took over the joy and my mind started to dwell into other ideas rather than fully enjoying the beauty I met in present moment. Lack of in-the-moment focus made me missing the bird that was located on the tree until the mountain guide or someone else points it out.
Credit : Refflisia Putih
In the previous post of my journey chronicles in embracing INFP as my best-fit type, I have mentioned that Introverted Sensation ( Si ) is the cognitive function that surprisingly lead me to my findings.
Now it’s the time to reveal another Jungian cognitive functions that confirms INFP as my best type.
It is Extraverted Sensation ( Se ), the opposite of Si.
Heidi Pribe of Thought Catalog describing Se in an easy way to understand :
“ Extroverted sensing is focused on taking in the world as it exists in the present moment. It is highly in tune with the sights, smells, sounds and general physical stimulus that surrounds it. Extroverted sensing lives and thrives in the moment, more so than any other function.”
In individual with INFP as their best type, Extraverted Sensation ( Se ) is located in the bottom 4 functions. It is located at the 7th position. Dr. John Beebe named and associating this position with an archetype named The Trickster.
There’re many version of trickster archetype in fictional stories are available to choose from. Somehow I prefer Reynard The Fox to be portrayed inside my post.
Here are an explaination from Eric B explaining about The Trickster from his website. Somehow, it gives me a dizziness bout just for digesting the meaning. However I am still putting it right here for some good reasons that are still unknown to myself.
“ Emotions connected with that of a bad child; either dealing with one, playing tricks and binding the ego, or then being one to get back at or rebel against the threat, will often come through the perspective. Where the Puer tells us what we want to hear, the Trickster tells us what we don’t want to hear! We feel “bound”, and then, in a rebellious fashion, try to turn the tables by using it for deceiving, double-binding, trapping others.”
Giving you a dizziness to understand it, don’t you ?
To make it simple, The Trickster fools you to take something and perceive it as something else. And always influencing you in making rebellious children-like rushing decisions that not deserved to be taken seriously and you will regret later on if you follow it. Somehow, it is also brings a sense of humour. In the healthier manner, you can point out how or why someone or something is logically silly or appear like silly. On the other hand, on the social or professional settings, people can also use The Trickster to trip you as well or vice versa.
For INFP-preference individuals, that is means their experience with Se is getting distracted easily when having real-time, in the moment sensory experience. Either their mind wandering into the past or the future, while their physical body still staying in the moment presence. Or external stimulations is the main source that distracts their focus on something. Or always missing the details unless struggling to stay in focus while working on something that needs attention to details. Or maybe a strong tendency of experiencing pareidolia as a enjoyable way of laughing at themselves.
In my case, Se as The Trickster manifested in several ways. For example :
1. My trip to Mount Kinabalu in 1998 is one of the many moments that helped me to recognized how The Trickster manifests itself. How many times it was appeared as the distractions along my hiking journey. Still able to enjoy the beauty of nature but the focus was quickly get diverted into thoughts, nostalgias or day-dreamings. I missed to witness the existence of the near-dry Carson Falls, honestly, in that process. Or simply missed the sacrificing pool near St John’ Peak during the summit attack phase.
Somehow, at that moment Mount Kinabalu also under the influence of the worst El Nino phenomenon in Malaysian history, and most of the iconic plants and herbs were died, and I don’t mind of not seeing them all along the trail.
2. Ops, I used to have a laughable dressing/fashion sense. Many times I wore something that not flatter myself. I was appeared too old, too short or fat. Or appeared silly or boring. Or appeared meek and weak.
One of the factors I failed to win job interviews in the past is because my dressing sense was not impressing or appealing to the interviewers at all. I thought that by dressing like this and like that, I appeared as strong and as powerful job candidate. Somehow, in reality it was not. When I look back at those experience, yes they are simply laughable. I have no choice but to listen to the person who knows better about the style and colours that are in harmony to my natural appearance but not violating Muslims’ dressing code at the same time.
3. Having issue with proof-reading my own writing. Honestly I have to re-edit my blog posts or Facebook status or Facebook responses again and again, several times after straight away posting it online, because I tend to miss many typos and errors. I thought I have seen them all, but when I re-read my own posts online, I’m usually found typos or grammatical errors in it.
4. External stimuli is the main source of distraction when I’m going into creative process of writing something. From my own past experience, I can’t resist the external distractions when I went inside my inner world to get ideas and inspirations. When the distraction sources brought me out to the external world, my creative process got interrupted. Original ideas may either no longer staying just as it is or simply gone for good, when I returned again to the inner world of creativity. As a result, it leads to procrastinations or suspensions of working on creative writing material. Somehow, I am still okay with it most of the time because the new idea that came later on usually getting better than the original one.
5. Honestly I know that my Se is fooling around at me when I misidentified these images as something else at the first glance and it made me smiling or giggling at myself.
Unless I’m looking closely and meticulously at this picture, I’ll always perceive the sleeping cat and the orange as a fried egg !
Credit : metro.co.uk
A confused face looking at me. Seriously hillarious alarm clock.
Credit : themarysue.com
Froth or Frog ? I see a frog having a glance at me, honestly and almost forgetting that this is just a cup of cappucino…
Credit : likecool.com
By sharing this, hopefully I can help someone to understand how Se works as The Trickster.
Note : Dr Linda Berens from Linda Berens Institute give another view upon Beebe’s model. I understands Beebe’s model even better with her point of view, even though the model example that was used in the article below is INFJ-preference.
Kredit : Imanimex